This week I got to exact my $76 worth of value from the State Bar of California. Some research work for my attorney employer led to a question of legal ethics, and he said "hey, just call up the ethics hotline."

The SBC operates an 800 number that's ready to field all your ethical inquiries. I mean, that have to do with the practice of law in California. Not whether it's ok to get off the highway to pee at McDonald's, when you have no intention of purchasing something, but you did buy an iced tea at a different one about 100 miles back so you feel you're entitled.

When you call, they take your name & number and call you back. The good news is, both people I spoke to really knew their ethics. They could cite & quote large segments of the Rules of Business & Professional Conduct and 1974 cases defining what it means to practice law "in-state".

The bad news is, apparently these people are lawyers. So in both cases they converted the question I was asking into a question they knew the answer to, and proceeded to deliver a monologue which was extremely difficult to interrupt once it got started, like a telemarketer delivering a pitch.

I felt a little bad about cutting short their guitar solo but I felt like I shouldn't hog the ethics hotline -- better to steer them back on topic. "Wow, that's really helpful. [Lying.] So let me ask you a followup question: [repeat original question]."

In related news, a few weeks ago I met a miniature doberman while out walking in my neighborhood. I asked the owner what her dog's name was. "Ethics." The dog's name is Ethics? "Yes." I really couldn't think of a worse possible name for a dog. But I kept that to myself.

14 Jun 05